Dispirited in Me

Dispirited in my eyes today can you see can you feel what, I feel can you think what, I think. Do hear my word's that are rambled to unlock the code of my speech. Dispite what, I may have dealt with on this journey nor good or bad, yes my child I hear you, I feel you cause you are me. Is it so that we cry in silent with our head's held high; doe we smile as bright as the morning star. To get to sneak just to say I love you, I miss you the things we face in life once we over come. We are the children of GOD for we Fear nothing. We know our heavenly father the most high hears us. So do you hear me do you feel what I'm saying. My cries are more than a river for I'm drowning in sadness. Dispirited in me do you see me my fake smiles cause of sadness and hatred thats felt towards me. Dispirited in my eye's can you see in my eye's although, I smile, I to hurt, I do cry but dispirited in me can you see that you are me and I'm am you.

Discover Your Audience and Build Stronger Brand Relationships | AddThis

Discover Your Audience and Build Stronger Brand Relationships | AddThis

I'm Lost for Words

I met a young man yesterday and I never seen this young man before. We was chatting and one thing lead to another. The vibe was great and I brought this young man to my house after a few shots we had we got to talking. So today he called me and asked me could he stop through, I said yes but he also asked me could he bring his friend, I said cool. So after we sat here and chatted for a seconds we realized that we had other things in common. So in the mist of the conversation a name came up and come to find out me and these two young men knew the same person. Now I have been through alot of things in my life time but this here.....wow all, I can say. So we sitting here in our meeting and the black dude say blah blah blah that he said a few names and then he say that dude his family just buried him Saturday. So then, I sat here and said ok naw we couldn't be talking about the same person because, I just talked to him like Tuesday or Wednesday of last week and he just asked me about my bong project. So the dudes was like wow ...Redd, I can't believe that you knew him. The whole time he got setup by his so called homeboy. And this shit crazy it hit me so hard that I had to call me husband and let him know what was going on cause.... I really can't believe that this boy is gone. We have to come together and stop this unnecessary madness that's going on in the world. Why is we killing each other. Why, I ask. This pain we putting each other through ...why. This don't make no sense at all. I really can't understand why we kill each other. There are other ways to solve problems people need to talk work things out. This shit here hit me so hard that, I have been crying all day and I been texting this dude the that got killed. I been texting him and texting him,the whole time he dead. I just broke down and wow, I have a whole new outlook on life and death. This shit crazy. My homeboy had just started opening up and started talking to me and asked me about my bong idea. Then he said to me one day that he in this shit because of his brother. I didn't think about it at the time but wow. I just lost two great homeboys years ago and now this. This is really messing my head right now. So if, I broke down for a person I barely knew then just imagine how, I would if it's somebody I'm really close to. We have to stop this stupid ass killing for no reason. This shit has to stop it really do. I have two papers to do and I really can't believe he gone. I hate that there is so much killing and
that we the people have to suffer cause someone on some hating shit or....they killing just because of some pasted shit this makes no sense none what so ever. And I can't understand why this shit is happening. So if I don't do nothing else but say. Please people stop killing us and each other. What you do it comes back on you if you have children....think about your children your future our future.
These are future Mayor's and future Presidents, mom's, dad's,sisters,brother's, uncle's and so on and on. Please you people who have these guns and killing please like Real Talk stop. Real Talk your really killing yourself. This shit here has really fucked my head up. I been fucked up all day. And it's funny that I don't dream but when, I do it's either something happen or it's gonna happen. I never dream but God just had me to text this dude and I had been leaving messages and and trying to leave voicemails and. I'm sitting up here thinking hard like what is it I could have done to save his life. This....wow is really messing with my head hard right now....(smh) shake my head wow, I can't believe this happen. Dude that got killed was mexican and had just started to open up to me like talking about his son that's 5....I think he five now and wow this shit is really crazy. I really can't believe he gone. That's all I can say. Like Real Talk I been crying all day and just started to calm down. I just had a talk with my babe and I was telling him that, I was blessed to get to see the real person in dude and my babe told me that, I have a gift and people open up and speak to me or I can just sense things and be on point about it. That's what makes him love me cause I be knowing. I had a family member tell me once they say and I quote" Redd you can't save Everybody". I know I can't but dam......I really wish I could. But God blessed me with this gift since I was eight years old. I'm starting to pay attention to it  more; but this shit is scary and. ... It's not for everyone. Somethings I can't go into details cause then it will mess up my path so. But wow this shit is really fucking with me very hard. I'm blessed I been out these streets now like some years now and....all, I know is that dude was trying to get out that life. Now.... I know I'm on this path to have my 3 marijuana store but....wow...I really don't know now. Should I still be with My Associates or be a Counselor...This killing has to stop. Do you all know how many lives are fucked up for life because of a killing. This shit effect's everyone not just the families but Everyone. My head is throbbing right now because I really can't believe he is gone. My heart goes out to him and his family. I know lots of people that have gotten killed but few touch me and....I'm really lost for words right now. Please Stop This Dumb Ass Killing... Please stop. I'm asking, I'm begging Please........STOP

I rise above it

My phone call on my project went well . Even doe I never ran a company but I ran my company if I came up with idea whom ever I was with we got that $. But John and I were talking things he said on the phone I didn't know the business side of the talk but I broke it down to when I was done talking he knew I knew what I was talking about. I had to remind him this project is my baby and I like for things to run smooth things to be perfect ain't no I in team. And he said Redd, Gonorleathia your so smart and I'm blessed that you picked our company to work on your project. Packaging,display,pricing has to be right. My website is in construction as we speak. My Portfolio will be here in a few weeks along with my drafts on my drawing I did for this project my project. Now today I'm mailing off my prototype and then this show finna grow more lol. Wow is this real is this me wow I really can't believe this is really happening. I don't like to suffer and believe it or not y'all just don't know smh.  ....I been through it all anything bad,bogus you can think of I been through it that was me....wow I been through some shit in my lifetime I wouldn't wish on a mad dog I swear I wouldn't. I been through family stabbing me in my back I been through my kids don't wanna be around me unless I got something for them. I been through people laughing at me talking behind my back setting me up I been through my feet was chained with rocks and shit and police pulling me out of Lake Michigan water. I been kidnapped,rapped left for dead beating all that and I still held my head up high never lost faith. Ain't shit no one can tell me but hi how you doing. So when I hear people complaining about gifts GOD gave us it erks me to the point I wanna snap. I been through a lot for a reason. I'm not never mad at nothing. It's all a learning experience if you don't die. That's why I act the way I act. I have been through it all and I rose above everything. Before you judge me without knowing me as a person or an individual, take a very long look at yourself before you TRY TO SPEAK.....I rose above my hells and still rising. Never turn down a helping hand or a hand in need for one-day your hell will come a reality. Never judge what you don't know.   All that I write on here or anywhere is all truth that people don't know and I can talk about anything that I was involved in and I can say it proud. Cause I know someone out there going through the same shit or it not worse. I speak to let the lost know your not alone I was you I am you so I know rather male or female. Its gonna be ok I promise. GOD SAID SO CAUSE I SAY SO. I'M A CHILD OF GOD ain't nothing we can't do. We Must all come together and ....love like God says its the right thing to do...these words I'm out

I'm Smoking Smoking

What`s going on in this muthafucker smoking smoking I was bored in this muthafucker smoking smoking I`m tryna live me a happy life smoking smoking I had to roll me another blunt smoking smoking I took a lighter to this BITCH ....NOW, I`m  Smoking Smoking.

I'm Me a Child of God

Y'all I'm doing this thing called living where as I'm doing shit my way. Redd'z way. I control who in it
around it near it. What I say goes. I love my life it's a two way street. No one to tell me how to feel how to dress how to talk. No one to questioned what I'm doing for me as a person. I'm free, yes true, I lost family,friends as I'm transforming into this uniquely diverse beautiful minded person.....Me with my smile and my attitude that could light up a stadium and beyond. I'm small with a loud voice but a heart of a True Warrior with not a heart of gold but a heart of platinum , I am Extraordinary caramel colored Queen that is a Phoenix. I spread my wings to fly high which will take me higher than, I was before. I'm Extraordinary ask GOD lol he showing you now as we speak. I'm a Child of God the Most High. Man can't tell me shit. I'm cocky very and can hold my own no matter what. I'm Extraordinary. I'm it can't you see do you feel it. I'm a blessing in disguise, most don't even know it. I'm a Child of God I'm Extraordinary. I speak from me but speak for all, I'm a Child of God a blessing in disguise with Extraordinary Talents with a loud voice yes hear me roar, I'm the Extraordinary, Divers, Unique Beautiful Black Queen cause I come from the Most High.

I Passed My Class

I passed my class wow didn't think I could do it. But wow I passed my class. Along with the other things and life situations I passed my class. No matter how lonely I felt with very little family love support I passed my class. To always want to be with family but no the vibes are fake, I passed my class no corrections my classes but I passed my class. The family that we do still communicate with they show me love tell me to continue to keep my head up and....I passed my class. It was a test to see how far and what other things I can do with my mind on a different level. I passed my class my true friends and support who has helped me along the way.... Y'all I passed my class. To those I never met those who follow and speak from time to time I passed my class. My main support my close inner circle we chat, talk,hang,visit living together my neighbors I passed my class. Yes I'm excited yes I'm proud but no matter what I was feeling going through,doing....I passed my class. The whole point is to this is "You can do it no matter what" You can pass any class to just always keep your head up. I am who I say I am regardless of my skin my character. I passed my class no matter what.....I passed my class :-).