My Mothers Day As I Remember This Day 2017

This year for mother's day, will be the first time, I can't visit my mother. Last year on this date my father passed away. Last year August 19th on a Friday, my mom was in a car accident. Till this day I'm still trying figure out how she ended up, up North by me; to where she was in the hospital for a few days. Now besides the bs that's going on within my family that, I have tried to ignore because of ignorance. I have always had a clear mind on things, regardless of what's going on. I'm blessed to say that once, I got myself together and back on the right path. My siblings have always been in their little clicks. But never the less as painful to say. I Love My family but, I gotta do it from a distance. This year my dad is gone to be with the Lord. I'm blessed that my mom is still here on Earth. I'm hurting because my mom has been tossed around like trash. I'm hurting because since her accident, I was only allowed to see her maybe four times since 8/19/2016. I'm hurting because, I can't talk with my mom, I can't hug her, I can't talk to her and Most Importantly, I'm not allowed to see her. I'm hurting because my mom is a diabetic plus she takes heart medication. I'm hurting because she hasn't had no medicine, I'm hurting because her hair is matted to her head. I'm hurting because it's, untrue people who has her and she's not getting the proper love or care to be better. I'm blessed My Heavenly Father still has her on his Earth. But I'm also hurting at the same time. Y'all love y'all parent's. Take care of them.like they did you. It's hard not to cry and to continue to smile for others. It's hard but it's ok. I ask that you all pray that things get better on my end. I'm know I'm not alone but, my human side is lonely, afraid and scared at some times. Mama, I Love You Much. Always Remember that. I remember , I was in an African Dance Play when I was little and you was sitting in the front row. I remember, I was eight years old and I taught you how to drive. I remember you teaching me at an early age how to be responsible. I remember you teaching me how to take care of my siblings and pay the rent, light and gas. I remember you teaching me how to do my homework and then showing me how to help my siblings. I remember your talks you had with me while my siblings was outside playing. I remember mama, I remember. I remember you teaching me to always stay focused no matter what. Mama, I still need you. I'm missing you so much,it hurts I'm not allowed to help. God, I ask that you continue to watch over my mother as I pray for her healing. Amen Amen Amen. .... Happy Mother's Day

When Family go Against You. FUCKERY....Part One

A fight broke out, just out of the blue on 63rd and Artesian, 10/8/2016. My little sister Gen started it by lying claiming she was just talking to my little brother and sister about me coming to get my mom for the weekend. I've been sitting back thinking about this, over and over in my head.... This was a setup the whole time. But like, I said at first. I can say what, I want out my mouth. Like, I Said the problem is no communication. Now remind you my dad just passed away 5/14/2016. Then my big brother got shot by his so called best friend and his son. Then out of all things my mom was in a car accident 8/19/2016. Thank My Heavenly Father she's ok, Amen Amen Amen. But that accident messed her memory up. She was thinking it's 2013, she didn't know she was at my dad's funeral. I only seen her once since she came home from hospital. That was to get her medicine and..oh...to visit but every time , I go see her she's laying down. My mom is a diabetic plus I found out she's taking other medications. Yesterday Fuckery was the Ultimate, I'm done with family. I'm a very compassionate, verbal person.But when a person walks in my face, I walked away three times and my baby sister put her hands on me first. I had every Right to defend myself and then my little brother grabbed me but remind y'all people seen my sister walked up in my face three times after, I had walked away. It was a few people out there, I seen that , I knew. Then on top of that My little sister girlfriend tried to take my purse. Yep my brother slammed me on the car not once but twice. But killing part..My Mama won't remember nothing. After the fight was over, I walked over and gave my Mama a hug and kiss for the last time. I told her as, I was picking up my purse and phone off the ground by my sister tire by her car. I told my Mama as, I hugged her, I told her, I Love You Mama But, I can't and won't be back over here to see you until you get better, I also said you won't remember this fight that just happened, My Mama said she sorry and that she understands.I told her that she didn't do nothing wrong that it was Gen fault. After fight was over, my little brother and sister said, I had no business coming over there, remind you they been saying since my mom been sick, that I can come get her or, I can come over there. But people wonder why, I don't talk about my family, because they don't act like it. I'm not saying all my family members are fucked up but... I must continue to move on and hope my mom, I know my mom will get her memory back so she can tend for herself again and be Independent. It's in My Heavenly Father Hands, so I'm all good. Remind y'all my Mama has five children but I'm treated like shit. It's ok today. That's fucked up just buried one parent, smh. But the other parent mind is messed up from car accident so I'm being bullied like how, I was when I was younger. I'm the oldest so in the end, I will have the last word. I will be respected and Most Importantly they All Will Bow Down at My Feet like My Heavenly Father said. So Shall it be. Amen Amen Amen...No Love Lost.

As, I hit this blunt

As, I hit this blunt on this Valentin Day. I've realized, I been through a lot of shit, in my life time. I've loved, lost and learned, that nothing last for ever. ....Not Nothing. My mind wonders with thoughts. ..Just thoughts that are ungodly in a sense. Human Sense, it wouldn't make none. But in the World of our, My Heavenly Father, it would make great sense to accept. To accept this and learn; think nothing of it is... Really Normal. In Gods eye its Law. In man eye's, we either join in, take part of it in some way. Our own way, not speaking up for other's when we all, know who did it. Turning our heads as if we don't see nothing, as we walk by. Laughing in conversations at the same time, in that persons face... Rather family, friends, our own self's. It's very ironic how people take things from you. Never speak positive about you. Its amusing and sick, that people don't know the true meaning of friendship. It's ironic how people claim to be there for you, then they use your weakness against you, to gain their own personal goal. But behind closed doors, they plot and scheme against you. Saying one thing , then they cry wolf when confronted. It's sad to say, that most are afraid to move, think, live outside the box. It's sad to say that the one's we love the most only use and show they love you in that moment. As long as it's a gain for them. Only few know, speak, walk do the truth. Speaking the truth is very important. I only use the word, I love You, cause I mean it. I use the words, I Love You cause, you are a person. A child of God, like me... Well most are suppose too be. I don't judge, who am I to judge anyone. I speak how, I feel, and as well for others. Let's Keep the Peace. Spread True Love, on this Valentine Day, 2016. Let's turn to our brothers and sisters, young or old, able body or not. Give them a hug, smile, lend a helping hand. It's the little things that count. Doing things from the Heart is a great feeling. I love All, Happy Valentine Everyone ..#OneLoveOneNation

Food for Thought...New beginning

As, I sit here and think about all the things, I've been thru. I have learned that things don't turn out like they are suppose to. Along with the lost of loved ones, I strive to continue to be there for others.
This year wasn't like, I expected but, I'm very grateful for the things that are pure, true. If a person heart not true, then what they say out their mouth don't mean nothing. Life is what we make of it. It's up to us to make a change. Not only for ourselves and our families but for the world as well. I love all, I respect all but do we get the same treat, the ones that are true....no we don't. But all in favor, I have a heart and that what makes me better than most. I'm nothing like how most people think, I just don't like bullshit. Regardless of whom or what, Bullshit is not allowed around me nor drama. I'm a very peaceful person but don't pissed me off on no bullshit. I don't care what title a person hold in my life, no, I won 't deal with it period. I know 2016 will be better than this year. I'm looking for new beginnings on new ventures with great people. People who motivate and inspire to lift one another up and keep moving forward. That's what I'm on. I been getting a lot of emails on my writing so, this I must continue. This is one of my journeys to accomplish. But, I want those people to know, That there is always light at the in of the tunnel. We are all the same, we all go thru the same shit but at different times. No one is no better than the next. We all have our own path to go down. And at the beginning we part, just know somewhere in life we will meet again. And if it's meant to be then we shall be together again. Life to short to be out here on dub shit. But we as a people must come together and make a change. Not only for us but others as well. So on this note, I hope someone can help me with the domino effect, then let's get it started by smiling and being true with our self, for if we not true then, how can we be there for others. #OneLoveOneNation..... I say this a lot cause it's true. God put us on this earth to help others and to make the world a better place. We must seek peace, justice and do it in an American way, like GOD wants us to. We must not be afraid to help, speak, hug, smile tell someone you love them. This is what the world needs, from us All. I feel we are brothers and sisters in Gods eye. The world needs change, We as a people must continue to have peace. We must continue to help and be kind to one another. All these things are true. So we must fight for what's right in order for us to have a perfect union. We must come together as a People first. Yes we are all different and have our own knowledge of things in life. We must teach with a good heart, speak in encouraging words to help those in need, not only for our self but for the world itself.
Our children is our future so we must do old school loving, what I mean by that is....help a person out with their children, their loved ones. Give information to help so others won't be in need. Our hearts must be true in order for this to work. But how we hold our wisdom to our self and don't do right, then this is what the world will be going thru. People don't believe that we are in the last days, so we must come together as a union and help, fight for the things that's right. All this talking about one another and ASSuming shit. This shit ain't cool. We must love one another to make the world a better place. It starts with us. From beginning to the end we must make a change. #OneLoveOneNation...In Jesus name we say and pray.   Amen Amen Amen....these words I'm out. Keep the Peace People.

Dispirited in Me

Dispirited in my eyes today can you see can you feel what, I feel can you think what, I think. Do hear my word's that are rambled to unlock the code of my speech. Dispite what, I may have dealt with on this journey nor good or bad, yes my child I hear you, I feel you cause you are me. Is it so that we cry in silent with our head's held high; doe we smile as bright as the morning star. To get to sneak just to say I love you, I miss you the things we face in life once we over come. We are the children of GOD for we Fear nothing. We know our heavenly father the most high hears us. So do you hear me do you feel what I'm saying. My cries are more than a river for I'm drowning in sadness. Dispirited in me do you see me my fake smiles cause of sadness and hatred thats felt towards me. Dispirited in my eye's can you see in my eye's although, I smile, I to hurt, I do cry but dispirited in me can you see that you are me and I'm am you.

Discover Your Audience and Build Stronger Brand Relationships | AddThis

Discover Your Audience and Build Stronger Brand Relationships | AddThis

I'm Lost for Words

I met a young man yesterday and I never seen this young man before. We was chatting and one thing lead to another. The vibe was great and I brought this young man to my house after a few shots we had we got to talking. So today he called me and asked me could he stop through, I said yes but he also asked me could he bring his friend, I said cool. So after we sat here and chatted for a seconds we realized that we had other things in common. So in the mist of the conversation a name came up and come to find out me and these two young men knew the same person. Now I have been through alot of things in my life time but this here.....wow all, I can say. So we sitting here in our meeting and the black dude say blah blah blah that he said a few names and then he say that dude his family just buried him Saturday. So then, I sat here and said ok naw we couldn't be talking about the same person because, I just talked to him like Tuesday or Wednesday of last week and he just asked me about my bong project. So the dudes was like wow ...Redd, I can't believe that you knew him. The whole time he got setup by his so called homeboy. And this shit crazy it hit me so hard that I had to call me husband and let him know what was going on cause.... I really can't believe that this boy is gone. We have to come together and stop this unnecessary madness that's going on in the world. Why is we killing each other. Why, I ask. This pain we putting each other through ...why. This don't make no sense at all. I really can't understand why we kill each other. There are other ways to solve problems people need to talk work things out. This shit here hit me so hard that, I have been crying all day and I been texting this dude the that got killed. I been texting him and texting him,the whole time he dead. I just broke down and wow, I have a whole new outlook on life and death. This shit crazy. My homeboy had just started opening up and started talking to me and asked me about my bong idea. Then he said to me one day that he in this shit because of his brother. I didn't think about it at the time but wow. I just lost two great homeboys years ago and now this. This is really messing my head right now. So if, I broke down for a person I barely knew then just imagine how, I would if it's somebody I'm really close to. We have to stop this stupid ass killing for no reason. This shit has to stop it really do. I have two papers to do and I really can't believe he gone. I hate that there is so much killing and
that we the people have to suffer cause someone on some hating shit or....they killing just because of some pasted shit this makes no sense none what so ever. And I can't understand why this shit is happening. So if I don't do nothing else but say. Please people stop killing us and each other. What you do it comes back on you if you have children....think about your children your future our future.
These are future Mayor's and future Presidents, mom's, dad's,sisters,brother's, uncle's and so on and on. Please you people who have these guns and killing please like Real Talk stop. Real Talk your really killing yourself. This shit here has really fucked my head up. I been fucked up all day. And it's funny that I don't dream but when, I do it's either something happen or it's gonna happen. I never dream but God just had me to text this dude and I had been leaving messages and and trying to leave voicemails and. I'm sitting up here thinking hard like what is it I could have done to save his life. This....wow is really messing with my head hard right now....(smh) shake my head wow, I can't believe this happen. Dude that got killed was mexican and had just started to open up to me like talking about his son that's 5....I think he five now and wow this shit is really crazy. I really can't believe he gone. That's all I can say. Like Real Talk I been crying all day and just started to calm down. I just had a talk with my babe and I was telling him that, I was blessed to get to see the real person in dude and my babe told me that, I have a gift and people open up and speak to me or I can just sense things and be on point about it. That's what makes him love me cause I be knowing. I had a family member tell me once they say and I quote" Redd you can't save Everybody". I know I can't but dam......I really wish I could. But God blessed me with this gift since I was eight years old. I'm starting to pay attention to it  more; but this shit is scary and. ... It's not for everyone. Somethings I can't go into details cause then it will mess up my path so. But wow this shit is really fucking with me very hard. I'm blessed I been out these streets now like some years now and....all, I know is that dude was trying to get out that life. Now.... I know I'm on this path to have my 3 marijuana store but....wow...I really don't know now. Should I still be with My Associates or be a Counselor...This killing has to stop. Do you all know how many lives are fucked up for life because of a killing. This shit effect's everyone not just the families but Everyone. My head is throbbing right now because I really can't believe he is gone. My heart goes out to him and his family. I know lots of people that have gotten killed but few touch me and....I'm really lost for words right now. Please Stop This Dumb Ass Killing... Please stop. I'm asking, I'm begging Please........STOP